You Are NOT Special

When it comes to writing about something, picking up a subject is as important as choosing what biscuits to have with chai. And both of these are extremely important to me Parle-G rules all tho.

If you have read my posts before, then you know I usually talk about useless shit that I think I personally care about, but they end up being a few other people’s concerns too. That makes me realize how similar we all are at the core. We may carry different personalities and values, but in the end, we all are looking for the same thing. And if you are new around here, this isn’t the next big thing. Or it may be. You never know. You can choose to go back, but it’d be cool if you read on.

We are living on this beautiful piece of rock that may or may not have become habitable by chance. Hell, we don’t know if this universe is even true or just a simulation. Whatever it may be, the cosmos is undeniably vast. So much so that if we look at our planet, which is more than 12,000 km in diameter just Googled it, seems to be of the size of a sand grain if looked at from a few planets away. Based on this complex calculation that I have just done, imagine how small we are in this existence. Then why the hell do we think that our problems are so big? Why can’t we just be tiny instead of being tiny pieces of shit? Now, before you start making judgments and get rebellious, let’s look at this a little practically and try to find the answers.

Growing up we all have seen a lot of difficulties in our lives. Trauma, abuse, maltreatment, and whatnot. All of these issues have made us feel vulnerable and weak. They got us thinking and believing that the world isn’t kind. And that IS the truth. The world isn’t kind to anyone. But the bigger problem here is how we feel after having an unpleasant experience. Without any bullshit survey, it has been observed that a very obvious tendency after such an experience is the sense of entitlement. The need to be felt comforted and be given special treatment. Why? Well, just because!

And that’s the only explanation for this behaviour. We have grown up seeing this and experiencing it most of the time. The minute anything goes south we go looking for someone or something to provide us comfort and to tell us that everything is alright and we still freaking rule the world. This is true for the opposite as well. If something exceptionally good happens to someone, like winning a lottery or being promoted to a higher position at work, they feel the need to be treated specially. And this is a problem bigger than any other. The reason is that it creates dependencies and gives birth to unrealistic expectations. Another thing that makes this worse is the normalcy created around it. We have rooted it so deep in our subconsciousness that we feel it is the only way to feel better about ourselves.

Well, not the ONLY way. We as humans feel that we are special in our own individual ways. We think that whatever we do needs eyes and ears, and that it is subjected to applause. This is known as the humble act of seeking validation. And no matter how happy or sad we are, we constantly engage ourselves in this act, knowingly or unknowingly. We always look for our acts to be accepted by others. That is the bitter truth we all will try to deny. What the fuck is this guy talking about? He doesn’t know shit! Well, I do know that the Earth doesn’t revolve around us, and that’s pretty much to know. Especially when it comes to seeking validation.

The thing is that nobody gives a shit if you are driving a Lamborghini or spending your vacation on top of the Eiffel Tower. It is you who wants other people to care. Now I’m not saying it is entirely wrong. Sharing your joy and sorrow with the world around is absolutely fine. The problem occurs when you start determining your worth based on other people’s reactions toward you. You are basically giving them the power to tell you how you should feel about yourself. And THAT is wrong.

A very well-known yogi and mystic once said that letting other people decide how you should feel is the slavery of the worst kind. And I couldn’t agree to it more. If you let others affect your perception of yourself, you will always end up being hurt, and will always find yourself throwing the blame on others. And these “others” aren’t just your social media friends and followers, it includes everyone from your family to your closest friends. Even though you have been with these people for years, you still hold your individuality. And that should be of concern to only you, and no one else.

A great way to be free of both of these problems is to know that you are not special. Feeling the other way about yourself will only give you a false sense of merriment which will eventually blow up in your face. Instead, just be realistic to yourself. Rather than feeling good or bad, try accepting the way you are. Doesn’t matter if you are a blooming flower by nature or Kim Jong Un’s sister, allow it to sink in and make peace with it. That is your first step towards independence.

Knowing your personality inside-out gives you certain control over your needs. This gets taken to the next level when you do the same with your problems. Make yourself understand that problems will come and go, no matter what you do. We are humans, not unicorns. We don’t shit rainbows. So, instead of running away, accepting your issues will allow you to have a closer look at them. THAT is when you can start to break them down and find the solutions.

Another thing to know is that nobody else is entitled to smoothen your roads for you. And expecting the same is the stupidest you can be. Sure, you can seek help and talk to people about your issues. But in the end, it is you who’s gonna have to pull yourself out of the ground. Allowing someone else to talk sense into you is okay, but throwing the goddamn wreck in their face is not. Because in reality, everyone has their own stuff to deal with. Nobody is “problem-free”. Some are just well enough in handling their issues on their own, while some still need to learn.

Lastly, accept the fact that maybe on an individual level we seem to care about ourselves, but on a cosmic level, we are just another life form. Nobody would be affected if the human race disappeared suddenly. We’d be just speeding up the universe’s entropic death, by dying all at once. On the contrary, the other species would be grateful for our disappearance. Except for dogs. And dogs are who we live for in the first place, don’t we?!

I know this was a looong post, but hey, if you made it till the end, I hope you gained something. If you did, give this post a like, or a comment, or both. If not for the post, do it for this cutest little boy!

Caesar says hello!

Let me know your thoughts on this post. Until next time. Peace!